The Oscars, Coronavirus Updates & United’s Plane Porn Ban | The Daily Show

The Oscars, Coronavirus Updates & United’s Plane Porn Ban | The Daily Show


The Oscars, the night
where famous people fight over tiny gold men
with no genitalia. Last night’s ceremony
was amazing, but it was hard not
to notice that the nominees were about as diverse
as a Mike Pence family reunion. The 92nd Academy Awards were
all about historic moments and tackling the controversy. MAN:
The Academy Awards began with a call for diversity
from singer Janelle Monáe… ♪ ‘Cause the Oscars
is so white… ♪ MAN:
It’s an issue highlighted by Steve Martin
and Chris Rock, as well. Back in 1929, there were
no black acting nominees. -No. And now, in 2020,
we got one. -Yeah. -(laughter) I don’t know, Chris.
I-I thought there was something missing,
uh, from the list this year. -Vaginas? Yeah. -Yeah, you got
it. -(laughter, applause) MAN: But history is likely to
remember last night’s Oscar’s as the first time
a non-English language film took the top honors.
Parasite won four awards, including best picture and
best director for Bong Joon Ho. Yes, congratulations to Parasite for becoming
the first foreign language film to win Best Picture
at the Oscars. Although, honestly,
I was a little confused because I thought
the first foreign language film to win was Rocky. (imitates Stallone):
Yo, Adrian! I got to fight…”
(indistinct gibberish) You telling me
you didn’t need subtitles? You know what I did think was
funny about the night was how many times
someone would get on stage, give a speech
about Hollywood needs diversity, and then, everyone in the
audience would clap like, “Yay! Yay!” It’s all
white people. And you’re like, “But who do you think
that person is talking to?” Everyone in the audience
is in Hollywood. But it’s almost like
they’re clapping like, “Yeah, the rest of these people!
Yeah. Not me, not me.” I have noticed a pattern,
though. There’s definitely a pendulum that swings back and forth
for Best Picture. Yeah, because, last year,
Green Book won. And everyone was like,
“Ah, that’s kind of unwoke.” So then, this year, they said, “Okay, we’re gonna give it
to a Korean movie about class warfare!” Now the pendulum’s gonna
swing back hard the other way, which is why I’m gonna be
releasing my new film this fall. It’s an all-male reboot
of Little Women. (laughter) It’s gonna crush. Moving on to health news. We’re now into the third month
of the coronavirus outbreak, and it looks like it’s not
going away any time soon. This morning, the coronavirus
hitting a grim, new milestone. 908 people have been killed
by the virus in mainland China. That’s now more people
than were killed in the deadly SARS outbreak
back in 2003. The number of confirmed cases hitting more
than 40,000 overnight. And then there’s that
Diamond Princess cruise ship docked off Japan. The number of positive
coronavirus cases doubling to 135. That includes
at least 24 Americans. WOMAN 2: That cruise ship
off the coast of Tokyo has more coronavirus cases than any single country
outside of China. WOMAN 3: 75-year-old
Gay Cordert says the quarantine on board the
Diamond Princess isn’t working. We are definitely not safe
on this ship, and we need to be evacuated while some of us
are still healthy. We all need to be tested. At
least do the Americans on board. (laughter, groaning) Oh, wow. At least do the Americans
on board? That is cold. Although to be fair,
when shit goes down on a boat, political correctness always
goes out of the window, right? It’s been that way for ages. Like, when they were boarding
the Titanic, people were like, “Women and children first,
of course, of course.” But then the iceberg hit,
and all of a sudden, people were like,
“You bitches can drown! I’m using your kid as a raft!
Aah!” But I do feel bad
for people stuck on that boat, ’cause it must be hard to diagnose coronavirus
on a cruise ship. Because what are the symptoms,
huh? You’re dizzy, you’re nauseous, you feel like
you got food poisoning. Those are all the symptoms
of just being on a cruise ship. Yeah, this is probably
one of the biggest reasons I will never go on a cruise.
‘Cause have you noticed, whatever bad happens
on a cruise, it happens
for a really long time? Every other mode of transport,
it happens, and then it’s done. You’re in a car crash.
It’s over. If you’re on a cruise, it
crashes, it sinks for a week. If there’s a virus,
you’re stuck there for a week. If there’s hijackers,
you’re stuck there for a week. Yeah, if you join a thrupple
at the beginning of the trip, you’re stuck in it for a week. “Stop texting me,
Helen and Howard! It’s over now!” You know who I feel bad for,
though? The poor Somali pirate who’s now
stuck on board for a week. Yeah. He’s just like,
“Look at me. I am infected now!” (laughter) All right, but let’s move on
from the coronavirus to a different pandemic that has
been infecting the skies. And I’m talking
about porn on planes. A crackdown on X-rated movies
up in the sky. United Airlines pledging
stepping up its efforts to keep pornography
out of airplane cabins. The National Center
on Sexual Exploitation says it has seen a rise
in passengers viewing porn on their personal devices
when flying. In a statement, United says, inappropriate behavior,
including adult movies, have no place on its aircraft. The company says
it would enhance the training of its flight attendants to keep porn away
from passengers on flights. All right, all right.
Come on, people. You can’t watch porn
on a plane like a pervert. You watch it on the subway
like a normal person. (laughter) And look, I get it, though. Some flights are long, you know. You got to find a way
to kill two and a half minutes. -I understand.
-(laughter) But, also, like, if this really
bothers the other passengers, they should just give everyone who wants
to watch porn their own row. Yeah? Yeah, you can just, like,
book the porn row. They just put everyone… In fact, just put all
the annoying people in their own section. There’s, like,
one row for the porn people. And then, behind them,
one row for the babies. They all make
the same sound anyway. Yeah, it’s just like,
“Yaah! Yaah! Yaah!” Just-just don’t make
the porn row the safety… the emergency exit row–
that’s not safe at all. Yeah. ‘Cause then if the plane
crashes, other passengers will be like,
“We got to get out! We got… “Oh… “I’m just gonna stay.
It’s fine. I’m not…
I’m not crossing that.” So, United Airlines, I get it,
they need a new rule. I don’t think you need
to make up a new rule for this. Honestly, the easiest way to get
people to stop watching porn on a plane is not to ban it. No, you just have a guy walk up
behind those passengers -and just be like, “Oh, yeah.
-(laughter) Yeah. Yeah, keep going. Keep…” You’ll be like,
“Yeah, no, I’m done.”

100 thoughts on “The Oscars, Coronavirus Updates & United’s Plane Porn Ban | The Daily Show

  1. I’m so glad Trevor showed the clip of the white lady on the cruise ship! When I saw it on the news I couldn’t believe that even in a another country a white American woman still feels a way to think she’s more entitled

  2. Diversity pushed on people is as stupid and advertising feminist movements. Ok, we all are of the same worth as a humans but come on- should there be move black, asian, escimo people on movie business? Let all work they're way to the top! I mean seriously- putting different people on a main role just due to need of diversity is stupid! Let's face the truth!!! 🙄

  3. I think Parasite was an amazing movie and totally deserved everything they won. I’m still suspicious that the committee voted that way though. I’m interested to see who gets nominated next year.

  4. So I get that the ship doesn’t have enough tests for everyone, but can’t they have some donated? This had made national news everyday and they have a few thousand people on board. China and this ship are where most of the infected are. Why isn’t this easier

  5. But, but 'Parasite' is not the first foreign language movie to win the Oscar for Best Picture: 'Life is Beautiful' Italian movie won in 1999.

  6. Trevor Noah I really like the daily show but I am very disappointed when you said Somali pairets although we are not all pirates
    The movie Captain Phillips and Barqad was acting and don't get me wrong
    Thank you

  7. "At least do the Americans onboard"

    Take this attitude and apply it to EVERYTHING else americans do in ALL areas of life, and you won't be surprised at how they act when you see them in your country. Sometimes if you go to a famous beach like Cancun, just watch hem, watch them and marvel at their superior attitude on EVERYTHING!!

  8. So, no one's going to talk about the Little Men joke, there is a book called Little Men it's the sequel to Little Women.

  9. These late night hosts are just recycling jokes from each other. Donald trump’s hair – hairasite joke was made twice, and now this foreign film Rocky joke. Lazy.

  10. At least do the americans 1st wtf bitch lets get the young people 1st not the americans not the asians not the europeans all of them together

  11. No one should listen to the CCP and go back to work.
    No one should listen to the WHO with only a 14 day quarantine when 24 days is minimally required.
    They are all politically driven IDIOTS.

  12. Titanic jokes are ignorant.Women and children were preferred in escape…. but the corporate media guy missed THIS even in this context: Cheap Seat "Steerage class" passengers were locked in to drown. Some men survived. NO POOR PEOPLE SURVIVED, THEY WERE CLASS SEGREGATED AND FORSAKEN.

  13. I had my 2yo daughter sitting next to me and the man next to us was watching porn… I was so mad. She had no idea why I kept blocking her view of it. Thankfully, it was a shorter flight

  14. Tell all stewardesses to stop having sex in the restrooms especially flights to and from texas, please, its disgusting. Adults who cant keep their clothes on at work should be strippers! Ty

  15. I’ve been a flight attendant for 43 years, I’ve never had a flight were I’ve even heard of anyone watching porn. I’ve had many flights where people have joined the mile high club. Usually they’ve gone to the toilet for that, but not always.

  16. The good thing in the coronavirus updates is about the World Health Organization doing massive communication about their capacity to contain the virus world wide and about their crucial effort to eradicate fake news: especially in Brazil (where there have been so many activists for animal rights who have been killed.) The Brazilian representative is like: don't worry, we'll contain all the fake news soooo finely, this is our top priority! But what fake news? Yes sure let's take the blue pill shall we and go on with our endless spree filled with laughter, celebrities and tennis players…

  17. About that " american" lady on the that ship: I forgot " americans" have " gold ring's asses"; yes! They have " gold ring's asses. " Americans"? They cann't get Coranavirus. Why? Oh simple Darling: they are "americans".

  18. The only thing that ever was diverse at The Oscars was The Oscar statue. Only Yellow thing until now. Proud to be Asian.

  19. An exiled wealthy billionaire from China has stated China is totally covering up this pandemic and 50000 people have actually died in China and 250 million people are infected and quarantined. I have heard and seen a documentary that actually a lot of this the pandemic is tied to the efforts people pushing 5G networks- people With lots of money who want more money and who don't ever have enough money and in the short run they are sacrificing people and this planet. many countries are resisting and do not want it while other countries do creating a lot of confusion. but here's the real deal- thoughts become things and guess what you have a movie called Parasite winning picture of the year. . This gives Credence to Dr. Carolyn myss, energy medicine expert who writes about this in her research just like during the thirties when everybody was feeling poor and financially crippled from the crash of 1929 among other political events going on, and paralyzed or immobilized people. What did we get? We got polio. what happened in the year 2000 when everyone thought the computer virus was going to take out the computers. What did we get? We got a physical virus in human beings. So now this one has been manipulated as other viruses have been manipulated and created to take out lots of people basically, but if your immune system is weakened from stress, and that's probably half the people or more on the planet, you are going to get sick. But the bigger problem is this 5G frequencies are weakening people's energy field and t h u s Immune system. Your Frequencies are depressed Or diminished and because it's all about frequencies, when they become diminished or depressed, the sicker you become and of course, then you will die or transition as We say in my world. but you need to be careful what you think. Again, thoughts become things and that is critical to all of this.

  20. "Parasite," and whatever the name of the person who directed it, was an over-correction by the Academy. People complained that the Oscars are too white or lacks "vaginas." So they over-corrected and gave "Best Picture" to a film NO ONE has heard of and "Best Director" to a director that I wouldn't know if he walked into my living room right now. Sorry if this offends someone, which I'm sure it will. But that's the world we live in now-a-days.

  21. Okay, it's a joke. I get it. But let's just clear this up.
    Titanic Passengers:
    Women Surviving: 74%
    Children Surviving: 50%
    Men Surviving: 16%
    A third class woman (49%) was more likely to survive than a First Class Man (32%).

  22. Watching porn on an airplane? That is tacky AF. If you can't get through a flight without porn, you are addicted and need to get help.

  23. I dont like this boule shilL they had to go to Africa to get this heart less shill he wont ever talk about real issue dude in it for fame , flat earth fake moon landings real taxes Americans pay for moon landings wake up !!!

  24. It's crazy how films by minorities have to be exceptional to win an Oscar, yet mediocre films by whites always get Oscar or nominations. What's up with those low standards for white film makers?!!! Oscars lack quality…

  25. So even in a deadly crisis political correctness is more important than staying alive? I’m starting to hope this disease is the end of the human race…

  26. I’m confused three months into This “epidemic” that coincidentally came hard while people where protesting in China but I would cancel a cruise if planned once the route the cruise is listed as consisting of something like this virus 🦠 in certain countries and I doubt that cruise was a business trip

  27. Explain how the winner of best picture does not signify diversity? Or are we just talking about black people as usual with this show now.

  28. Oscar goes to white only…they avoided giving it to any black movie hence to avoid controversy it was given to white koreans.

  29. Just because you are American, doesn’t make you any better or special, unless you are come out from Hollywood movie plots! Seriously, what a pathetic white woman! I’m sorry for people who like her to represent our current shithole country! Coronavirus should take her for the sake of our country! Thank you, 🦠

  30. Regarding Oscars, they complain about one black person nominated or no woman, but questions should be was there someone worth nomination who didn't get it. Also If there wasn't, was it because they didn't got the roles or were not the best. It should always be considered was opportunities equal, not outcome.

  31. Don't understand why the Oscar's are criticised for being to white! Isn't it the job of the filmstudios to cast black and asian people as well?! I mean it's not like the Oscar's produce something on there own

  32. So what is a director? Is it anything like a training? Wow people are so stupid that they have to be trained or directed.

  33. This was the first Academy Award ceremony in years where the film that unquestionably deserved Best Picture won. And it felt truly earned

  34. I would recommend Trevor to host the Oscars, but he's too good for that falling off event.
    (I like the red carpet though).

  35. When I was maybe 11 or 12, nobody on the flight was down to switch seats w/ me so I could sit next to my family and I ended up sitting in the middle seat between two, rather large old men. One of them fell asleep leaning on me and the other watched porn on his laptop the entire time.

  36. Who cares about talent and hard work! We demand more woman and black people! Where are the transgenders, handicaped, blind, deaf, pedophiles…? This needs to be more inclusive of all people? Why only best actor and actress? What about the other 150 plus genders?

  37. Genevieve Nnaji movie "Lion Heart" got disqualified because it wasnt in English but they spoke English but its in African setting….racism..

  38. By "Americans" , I am sure the woman meant white people, because everyone knows that not all Americans are cocasian. Right : Comment section?

  39. Parasite is an awesome movie and deserved to win. I've watched K-dramas starring each of the cast members of this movie.

  40. I think people should treat porn on a plane like how they treat porn on a road screen, on the TV in a bar or restaurant. Like completely not, or set a special flight for porn lovers.

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